Adoption ROLLING THROUGH

We received word today that our hearing is Monday, April 18th... We will be married exactly 3 years and 3 months on that day. March 1st was the first publication date. March 1st my divorce was also final. We had 3 publications with no response. Our hearing is with a judge on the 3rd floor. I am officially changing my lucky number from 6 to 3... Good things happen in 3's for us??

Anniversary and Coincidence of sorts...

My divorce papers were signed by the judge on 2/28/07 and final on 3/1/07. Today it has been 4 years since I found that out. I got a call today that the notice of adoption/termination of parental rights will be in the L.A. Tim.es for the first time tomorrow, exactly 4 years from the finalization of the divorce. It will run tomorrow and then the 2 following Tuesdays. It is my understanding that he will have 30 days from tomorrow (the 1st run) to respond. Otherwise, we just get a court hearing to go before the judge to finalize things.

Adoption in the works...

So we met with an attorney (thank you dear friend) on Monday to start the step-parent adoption process for Wendell to adopt Alex and Breyna. The petition was filed today and we just have to serve Felix via publication and wait for our hearing, I guess it will be about 2 mos total. Since I have no idea of his address and he won't answer any contact attempts, we just have to put it in the paper in LA since that was where he last was. I'm hoping and praying that this is an easy transition for all of us. We have a temple goal and its within reach. :)

As mentioned before....

Well, its probably about time that I go into a little detail about the news that I talked about in my last post. Unfortunately, I thought that I was going to have this wonderful happy post about being 9 weeks pregnant and hearing the heartbeat and posting an u/s picture... But, as my life has proved again, nothing turns out quite the way I want/expect. I have been to the doctor every week for the last 3 weeks and the baby stopped growing and never had a heartbeat, just developed the sac and stopped. Today, I had a D&C as to not be at risk for infection. My heart is broke, but I know that there is a reason for everything. This makes 3 miscarriages in 3 years. I have never went through something so difficult as having recurrent miscarriages. I have had friends that it always happened too, but I never realized just how bad it hurts until now.

Bad Blogger

Yep, that would be me. I'm horrible. And the said part was, up until Oct 25th, I was at home all day and could have blogged for hours, but I guess I was just too lazy too. Now I am working. YAY me. I am working at Catholic Community Services, no, I'm not Catholic, its just the organization. If you want to learn more about what we do, you can go to CCSutah.org and see how we work. I am a casemanager and I help Homeless individuals and families find funding to get back into homes and find resources to help them achieve self-sufficiency. So far I love the job. It is quite overwhelming, but I love it.

On more job news, Wendell just got a new job. He will only have to work at GSC for 3 more weeks and then he is off to WalMart Distribution to be a Lead! 12 weeks of extensive orientation to boot. This is a very exciting time for our family. Things are starting to come together and look really good.

I have more news but its premature to say anything, so it will have to wait! Hopefully it won't take me months to update again!!!!!!!!!

Mumbo Jumbo

Today is August 1st. Where has the year went. I can't believe that it is already time for kids to be thinking about going back to school. There are only 5 more months left in this year. I am going to be 30 in 5 days. Not scary, just weird.

I remember being a kid and thinking of how old 30 was to me. I just wanted to be old enough to watch myself, then old enough to work and drive, then old enough to get out of school and home... Now, I wonder what is next for me and how can I slow the time down. I look at my kids and I can't believe how big they are. They aren't really babies anymore. I look at them and I am so proud of the kids they are and hope that I am a good example to them because I want them to have the best and not make the same mistakes that I did. I have been thinking about these things alot lately. I have also been thinking alot about the choices I've made and the consequences (both good & bad) that followed.

I don't regret what I have done in this life because it has made me who I am, but sometimes I wonder how things would have been different if my choices were different. I even keep myself up at night worrying about what I'm doing and what I need to do. I admit that it is now consuming me and I'm so worried about what I'm doing that I'm missing so much. How do I slow down? How do I just enjoy the blessings that I have without always wanting more or something different? Sometimes I get so down and feel so bad because I feel like at this point I should have some direction in my life and I really don't. I don't have a job, and I have no idea when/where I will get one. I'm worried sick about death, whether it is my own or that of a family member, I have this constant anxiety of bad things that happen or even could happen. I seriously make myself sick and I don't know why.

This post is so random, but I just had to get some things out. Maybe now I can get some sleep...or maybe I will worry some more. Who knows. But I am thankful to have a wonderful family and the best friends. I am so grateful for God and Christ and I pray everyday to be a better mom, wife and overall person.

This and That

I have started a post many times, but then either didn't know what to say or didn't have time to finish it and ended up deleting the post. Well, there is no turning back now. I have spent the last 1/2 hour redesigning my blog so that it looks awesome in hopes that it will make me a better blogger. I don't have any breaking news but there is quite a lot that has been going on in our family so just wanted to update you.

• We are all members of the church now and working towards being sealed as a family.
• I am still unemployed and have been on 6 interviews and submitted hundreds of applications/resumes.
• Wendell is having a hard time in his 'job' and is actively looking for something else.
• Breyna and Alex are growing way too fast, they are also getting too smart.
• We are going on our first camping trip as a family this weekend, annual family reunion, good times.

Those are just a few of the things, other than that, just some regular old life stuff. If anyone has any leads on a job for me or Wendell, please let me know. TTFN