New Beginnings

I still don't have the address to the church for Alex and Breyna's baptism but will post as soon as I find out. I know it is the church kind of by Weber High on 500 W.

Now to my post:
I have decided to do an emotional clean up on my life. I have found through a friend's death and a recent illness that a friend's baby may have....life is precious and I'm scared to death that our life can be taken at anytime. I want to be in an emotionally stable place when I pass and thus I have been doing alot of thinking. The following is only part of some thinking I have been doing.

I have had a very heavy heart most of my life. I have 2 seperate families as my mother and father divorced when I was a baby. I have alway felt that when I was with each family that I couldn't really talk about or love the other family while in their presence. I grew up always feeling like I didn't know where I belonged because I felt like I only 1/2 belonged to each side.


When I was 15 years old I moved in with my dad during the summer. That summer he met and married his current wife who had 4 kids. After she and her kids moved in, I had a friend that I snuck out to be with one night at the advice of my older step sister who in turn went and woke up my dad and told him. Things got crazy and I went back to live with my mom. They never spoke to me again. They moved to Kentucky. It wasn't until I had my 2 children that we let each other back in each others lives. I whole heartedly gave my all to try and make the relationship work. When I moved to Alabama to be with my husband something changed. We no longer really kept as good track anymore. But we were on each others face.book and I still felt I could get in contact if needed. Well, everyday I'm hurt because I see their comments to my step-mom's kids and how they are and I have made numerous posts and messages without anything in return.

As part of my NEW BEGINNINGS, I'm letting go of things that don't benefit me, my kids or my life. I deleted them off of my facebook, all of them. I actually did a pretty big overhaul and deleted all the 'friends' on my facebook that I just added because I knew them. I only left people that I really care about and actually comment and follow on. I'm tired of having this heavy burden on my heart and in my life and I just hope and pray that I wasn't hasty and made the right decision. I have been thinking about it for a very long time.